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[20 Jun 2005|02:02am] |
uaresolastsumer
add me
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[12 Jun 2005|03:33pm] |
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ive just decided im done with this journal. i will be adding you shortly.
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[10 Jun 2005|11:17pm] |
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
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[03 Jun 2005|12:27pm] |
here i am again..bored out of my mind
sitting at my dads office.
i work at starbucks today at 5:30 which im not really looking forward to.
checked the weather for tomorow and its suposed to be nice ..
of course on my actual birthday...its suposed to rain.. like always.
im also thinkin there might be to many people coming over tomorow night.. im a little worried. people.... please dont bring uninvited guests if i invited you.. i need to minimize this gathering.
oh and there will be a key master.. no drinking and driving .
thanx
oh and if you are coming bring at least one piece of wood.. i have none.
:)
im going to the wave pool with steph tomorow morning. i havent been to the wave pool in ages.. dont know if we are going shopping or not for a birthday dress. i should check my funds. i will cry if im broke as fuck again. dumb verizon taking my entire check. ahhh i hate bills.
i decided im going to make a birthday list.
of the things i want.
but am not going to get.
yes. im obsessed with my birthday.
get used to it.
BIRTHDAY LIST
* new car! ( ha )
*a lot of makeup... i want laurens make up
*victoria secret perfume.. body spray..whatever
*bath and body works (anything)
*ipod
*i want my bills taken care of completely
*facial
*massage
*ehh actually i want a whole day at the spa
*thats about it..
i think this is a pretty reasonable list
EDIT : SOOOO my dad is LAME. he thinks he is going to kick everyone out at 1:00 am. HOOWWWW many bonfires have i had and you didnt care how long they stayed. i dont ask for much around here. he has church in the morning and doesnt want to get woken up by drunks. yup. thats what he said. he needs to just stay at his g/f's.
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[03 Jun 2005|11:03am] |
American Cities That Best Fit You:
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80% San Diego |
75% Honolulu |
65% Seattle |
60% Los Angeles |
60% Portland |
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[02 Jun 2005|10:29am] |
guess what.
im geting a digital camera for my birthday. i could pee
i was like hmm..windshield or camera...windshield or camera...
camera .
i cut my hair last night..
i think im likin it.
the parts i bleached still arent as light as i want them to be.
i will post pictures later.
its my day off today.. im at my dads office right now. and going out of my mind. its so boring...i have no books to read either.
i think im going to drag cara to do a wheat grass shot with me today.. than we have to go shopping for a hot dress ... and than.. who knows.. im sure my day will be busy. ok peace out
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[02 Jun 2005|01:52am] |
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i love them <3
 cathys "myspace" picture
 crazy eyes
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[01 Jun 2005|01:39am] |
its official
birthday bonfire is on!
be prepared to get crunk with the birthday girl.
i hope some of my friends bring me a nice birthday present
like..
booze
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[30 May 2005|11:36pm] |
holidays are stupid
we are suposed to remember our veterans
but who really does that
come on
people are trying to remember to grab the last case of beer before a bbq
not our veterans
its sad.
yep i worked today. thats about it. my birthday is this weekend. gonna get crunk. kinda wish i had a boy to share my birthday with. im kind of down .
oh well.
thats the way the cookie crumbles
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[29 May 2005|09:02pm] |
oh..
to be able to control how much i drink . would be great. i am ..an idiot.
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[28 May 2005|02:01pm] |
can i just say
yesterday was one of the worst days ive had in a while?
my manager told me that i basically dress slutty..which hurt me ALOT because not only is she my manager..shes my friend.
i realize yesterday that i suck in the boy department.
we were suposed to meet up at this bar i was just at last week.
all the people that we were meeting from work...just left without me and suzy. i couldnt get into the bar anyways..
i just had one of those days. and cried a little. i actually was aiming to cry a lot because i need to .. but i didnt. my check came in yesterday. which of course.. im like depending on right now.. and since my savings account was closed a few weeks ago..which is where i used to get direct deposit into... my check is now just floating around somewhere. 333 dollars just.. out there. yep.
so as for me..tonight.. i want to hide in my house.
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[27 May 2005|02:03am] |
my birthday is next weekend.
and i REALLY want
a DIGITAL CAMERA.
either that..
or..
my bills all payed off for me.
DAAADDDDD
buy me presents plzzzz
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[26 May 2005|01:30pm] |
WTF
canada sucks.
the douchbags pulled us over at customs.
i left my cell phone in ashleys car. who knows when i will get it back.
i didnt hang out with griffin like i was suposed to and im bummed out . he must hate me. i have to work today and i really do not want to.
i want to be lazy and watch movies all day. im a bad person. :(
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| so long and goodnight |
[25 May 2005|02:04pm] |
fading away
you are
gone.
to late
to go
back.
my heart
uncapable
of functioning
again.
left.
dont care.
dont breath.
i will know
you're still alive.
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[25 May 2005|12:43am] |
i was cranky as hell today at work.
nothing really exciting happened today.
i am suposed to hang out with griffin tomorow
if he calls
cara and i are talking again.
which is good
and we are going to be the birthday girls in canada
i love everyone .
peace out <3
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[23 May 2005|02:20am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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FUCKING COOL. I LOVE HOW I WRITE A WHOLE FUCKING ENTRY AND MY CAT WALKS ALONG THE KEY BOARD AND DELETES IT ALL. not only was my deleted entry a pissy one but now its gonna be even more pissy.
last night i recieved 2 hickies on neck..no 3. they hurt. and they are from 2 hot gay men. gay. key word there. i also made out with many many people last night. decided i was a bisexual and proceeded to tell everyone about it. ashley and i were girlfriends last night and no i was not on any drugs besides beer. i still hate guys.. my reason being.. i hardly meet any nice ones. the nice ones are.. not interested and walk away without asking for a phone number. ..or gay. or TURN out to be complete dick heads. i also am under to much stress for my own good. im in this hole and i cant get out of it. it feels like its taking to long to get paid. i owe.. like 5 people money ..not uncluding credit cards. that yes.. i cut up a long time ago. i need a miracle. i need God to come down here right now and help me out. just throw me a few grand. or better yet.. what up with the 30, 000 dollars that was suposedly promised to me? whats up with family fucking you in the asshole. what is up with anyone fucking anyone over. especially nice guys. girls who are pathological liars and who hurt there loving boyfriends need to just jump off of a cliff or get electricuted. sorry i cant spell in my raging hormonal rant. im pissed dude. i cant help it. i fucking hate people. ok thats a lie. i hate stupid people. i hate closed minded idiots. i would love to meet an intelligent man that likes to have deep conversation that is single, straight and not cocky . someone that can balance me out even. someone who will help me out and someone who i can help out. all i want is to love someone. i want to be special to someone . i want someone to get butterflys when they think of me. i miss my ex just because he DID get that feeling about me. i miss the way he looked at me. i want t hat back. i hate how he found someone 5 months after we broke up. or got with someone i should say. it should be the other way around. im suposed to be single and fabulous damnit.. and that isnt even happening. i dont think. and i miss kristin already. i want to move to california but im having second thoughts now. i cant even survive here. how the fuck am i going to survive there. i wish i could get my life together. i cant even get my thoughts together. i feel like i have hardcore ADD because i cant piece anything out. i cant figure things out.my thoughts are jumbled all the time. i would pee myself if i could just pay off my debt. thoughts have been crossing my mind lately. like crazy ones.. like hey what up with being a stripper. i need money. im good at blocking things out. i could do it. if i work my ass off like i did before florida .. like crazy work my ass off i wont see anyone . i will be stuck in side my dreary house with my nagging father and my friends wont want to sit inside this house with me watching stupid movies. i dont want to go back to being sad. my dad gets on me about money so much. when he talks to me he nags me about money. i know i owe him money. i know i owe the rest of the world money and im fucking sorry. i think about it all day long. i cant do anything about it if i have no money. im sorry dad. for fuck sake. right now i feel like crawling in a hole and hiding . i need a change and i need it now. unfortunantly writing about it isnt going to solve anything. i think all its going to do is make me feel slightly better . i currently hate life. i highly doubt i will be able to even afford to do anything for my birthday. including canada. peace out im gonna do the best thing for me right now and pass out.
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[21 May 2005|03:22am] |
i decided.
i not only want a boyfriend
i want a STRAIGHT boyfriend
and to be in love at that.
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